“You’re Overweight” is NOT a Diagnosis

I’ve been going to dermatologists and plastic surgeons my entire life because I was born with an excessive number of abnormally shaped moles, some with odd pigmentation.

If you look closely you can see a large brown birthmark on my forehead, I’m the newborn baby, that’s my mom nursing me…

I was seven years old the first time I had a growth removed by a plastic surgeon. It was under my eye and I was put under anesthetic for the operation.

Here I am (blonde girl on the far right) around age 4, this pic shows the large growth under my right eye.

I was twenty years old when the birthmark on my forehead started flaking and bleeding and a plastic surgeon removed it and biopsied it. Fortunately it was benign.

Over the past few years I’ve had five more unusual moles removed and biopsied. Two of the biopsies came back dysplastic nevus syndrome, which my doctor told me is a marker for melanoma. He advised me to take note of any mole changes, growth, and have them checked out frequently and quickly.

Just over the past year I’ve noticed I’m developing new growths on my face. I had a few that were large and flesh coloured, and had been there a number of years. Then I noticed a new one next to my mouth. Then two next to my nose. Then a couple on my jaw line… The one next to my mouth is often flaky and scabs. I decided it was time to get them checked out.

I went to my MD last October. He wanted to remove the older large ones and biopsy them. I asked for a referral to a plastic surgeon. I’m old hat at this routine and I want a professional surgeon doing the operation when it comes to my face.

For the next three months nothing was done. I called no less than half a dozen times to follow up. So much time passed that they told me I had to come in for a new appointment. My regular doctor was out of town so I saw his fill in. He advised me to see a dermatologist who would refer me to a plastic surgeon. A referral was made and my appointment was yesterday.

Him: How can I help you today?

Me: I am here to get some new growths on my face checked out.

Him: Any history of cancer in your family?

Me: Yes, my mom died of non-Hodgkin lymphoma when she was only 47, and my aunt (her sister) was recently treated for breast cancer.

Him: Okay, lean back. *holds a magnifying light up to my face to look at each growth closely for a few seconds* Well, it appears to be a benign intradermal nevi (BIN)

Me: So I don’t need them biopsied?

Him: No, removing them would be cosmetic.

Me: Okay, I’m not concerned about them cosmetically, so that’s good.

Him: They are caused by you being overweight.

Me: *shocked* Pardon me?

Him: *talks at length about my moles, then…* What is your diet like?

Me: Whole organic foods, I’m gluten-free. I’ve been doing the hCG Protocol and successfully lost some weight with that, hoping to lose more, but I have PCOS so it’s a struggle.

Him: Why aren’t you taking Metformin?

Me: I have a fertility specialist and took it for two years, in varying dosages. I gained 50 lbs. There’s no point because it didn’t help.

Him: *disbelieving* Really. Do you exercise regularly?

Me: I’m active.

Him: *leans in closely to look at my face* What do you do about that hair on your lip?

Me: *shocked* EXCUSE me?!

Him: You have a lot of hair on your lip. That’s another sign of insulin resistance. What do you do about it?

Me: Um. Wax.

Him: You should get laser hair removal, it’s permanent.

Me: No thanks, I own a spa and get free waxing.

Him: That just makes them grow back in black. It’s $90 each to remove those growths. Talk to the receptionist about laser hair removal. You could get your neck done too.

Me: How much does it cost? (*thinking to myself: this fucking asshole told me I have growths on my face because I’m FAT?!!!! I told him I’ve had them all my life.*)

Him: *excited* I’ll get my receptionist to get the pricing for you. *proceeds to lecture me about my weight and hard sells the laser hair removal at length*

Me: *interrupts and point at the mole next to my mouth* What about this one that is scaly and flaking and always has a scab?

Him: *peers closely at my face* Yeah, I guess we should check it again in three to five months. Make an appointment with the receptionist while you’re getting the info on the laser hair removal.

Me: *asks receptionist for an appointment 5 months later* 

Receptionist: *books appointment* Dr. K. says it’s $770 for 4 treatments on your neck area alone.

Me: *gasps and laughs* Yeah right. See you later. *thinking as I’m leaving: I’m glad I took a big shit in that doctor’s bathroom. I hope he smells it.*

*Back home again…*

Me: *Googling “natural remedies for benign intradermal nevi…*

I’m canceling that follow-up appointment. That man is just a money grab. Doesn’t medical school give doctors any other diagnosis skills other than, “If you weren’t fat, then *fill in the blank* wouldn’t exist…” Seriously, I’ve seen lots of thin people with moles. Hell, I was that thin person with these moles.

And seriously, the most insulting thing you can do is point out an obvious physical characteristic like obesity like you think I may not have noticed yet. Do you really think I live in a world with no scales or mirrors? Do you think I haven’t noticed the size on my clothing? Do you really believe I ENJOY being obese and just revel in it and until you suggested me losing weight it hadn’t ever occurred to me? Don’t be so fucking condescending. I’m not stupid or blind, and guess what? I probably know more than you’ll ever dream of knowing about the relationship between hormones, insulin resistance, leptin, emotional eating, allergies, whole organic foods, and intuitive eating. And I’m STILL not thin yet.

I need a good one-liner to throw at “professionals” when they pull this bull shit on me. Come on readers, you’re witty and bright, help me out here.