Fuck Off, Telemarketers

I have a confession to make. I hate telemarketers. Like really really hate them. I hate talking on the phone at the best of times, so telemarketers are right up there on the same level of loathing as my hate-on for zucchini and winter.

I’m not always mean to them. Not at first. I give them the benefit of the doubt, I tell myself they are likely some poor mother or father trying to make a living to support their children. They didn’t want to take the pond scum of all jobs, but the economy is weak, and it’s all they could find. I make up some story about them living in a run-down tenement building crawling in roaches, they don’t even have enough money for coffee, they need this job or they will be homeless tomorrow…

I start out using a considerate, yet firm, tone of voice, interrupting their canned spiel mid-flow, “Excuse me. I’m on the National Do Not Call List. Please remove my number from your call list.”

They respond in one of two ways. One, they keep trying to sell me something and it escalates into a screaming match, both of us talking louder and louder to drown out the other person. Me insisting, them resisting, ending in me hanging up on them. The end.

Or they say, “Yes, ma’am,” and the call is ended abruptly and we both move on with our day.

Yesterday I got one of the latter, but it was worse than normal.

The phone rang, the number said “Ontario 905-xxx-xxxx”. I don’t pick up if it’s a blocked or unknown number, or an 800 number. Those go to voicemail. I have family in Ontario though, so thinking I was going to talk to my aunt or dad, I picked up.

Telemarketer: Hello? Is Gxxxxx there?

Me: Pardon? Who?

TM: Gxxxxx.

Me: May I ask who is calling?

TM: You have major credit card. I call to discuss-

Me: *interrupting* I am on the Do Not Call list. Please remove me from your list.

TM: Gxxxxx, you HAVE TO listen to me!

Me: Uh, no I don’t, and that’s not my name.

TM: DO NOT HAVE ATTITUDE WITH ME!

Me: Uh, I’m not, but legally you are required to take me off your list.

TM: NO I DON’T! I NO SOLICIT. LISTEN, YOU HAVE TO -

Me: *interrupts* Whoa, stop screaming AT ME *he continues yelling so I yell louder*, TAKE ME OFF YOUR CALL LIST!

TM: *continues screaming unintelligibly at me*

Me: *hangs up*

The dude called back THREE more times. The NERVE. I hit talk/end each time and didn’t even give him the satisfaction of getting my voice mail.

I also immediately went to the National Do Not Call List site and filed a complaint. All I had was the caller ID phone #, which I’m sure was not their actual #, but maybe they can trace it to whoever is using that number to harrass people.

If you’re tired of harassing telemarketers, tell them to fuck off by registering your phone number with the National Do Not Call List. Companies that do not comply are subject up to a $15,000.00 fine.